So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
