I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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