i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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