Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
