Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
