I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
