Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
