and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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