Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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