you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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