Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
