i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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