why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
