hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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