Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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