Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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