wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
