So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
