So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
