she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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