can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if only i could text you this smell
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
