I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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