Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
