I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
