C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
