GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
