I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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