I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
