Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
