i think i have two assholes
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am available for nakedness
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
