i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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