This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
