Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
