Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
