It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
