this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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