What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
