I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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