i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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