i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
