I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
accomplished twins. life is a go
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So much Jack, so little girl.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
