you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
