Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
