So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
