He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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