I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
