Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
