He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
