I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish I could teleport
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
