...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
