I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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